No stronger military supporter than I walks the planet. On any question of loyalty to our service members, count on me to vote on the side of the men and women who give their todays that we might have our tomorrows.
That explains my visceral response to General McChrystal’s removal from his most recent position. Many think the general used bad judgment in speaking candidly and supposedly “off the record” in front of a Rolling Stones reporter. Every lieutenant knows, and most fourth graders could figure out, that there’s no such thing as speaking off the record in front of any reporter, especially one that represents a publication such as the one in question.
So why did he do it? Obviously this general has an impressive track record of good decisions. The man obviously knew, at least at some point, how to get this right.
It’s been my experience that successful men, some civilian, some military, often exhibit some of the traits of self-confidence that I call “healthy narcissism.”
The unhealthy kind, which I call pathological narcissism, takes on a different flavor.
Author Sandy Hotchkiss identified the seven deadly sins of narcissism:
- Shamelessness –Unhealthy narcissist have mal-functioning consciences and an inability to process shame in healthy ways.
- Magical thinking – Narcissists see themselves as perfect, using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking.
- Arrogance – A narcissist who is feeling deflated may reinflate by diminishing, debasing, or degrading somebody else.
- Envy – A narcissist may secure a sense of superiority in the face of another person’s ability by using contempt to minimize the other person.
- Entitlement – Narcissists hold unreasonable expectations of particularly favorable treatment and automatic compliance because they consider themselves special.
- Exploitation – involves taking advantage of others without regard for their feelings
- Bad Boundaries – narcissists do not recognize that others are separate and are not extensions of themselves. Others exist to meet their needs.
One of two things happened with McChrystal. Either he didn’t think the rules applied to him (see #5 above), or he orchestrated this entire event to draw attention to himself and his disdain for the strategy in Afghanistan (see # 2 ,3, 5, 6 & 7 above). There were honorable options. Neither speaking in front of a reporter nor creating a personal agenda for his own aggrandizement would be one, however.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I was referred to your site by a fellow exec, who insisted that you were a competent consultant. I began reviewing the material on your site, and this blog posting has made my decision an easy one.
You should be ASHAMED of yourself for being critical of a situation that you are not capable of analyzing. Your experience as a consultant gives you grounds to question a senior commander in the United States Army- not just his actions, but his character? You must be kidding!
As a former Army Commander- combat tour included- your comments are the exact sort of thing that make me question why we send our brave men and women into harm’s way. People who tout their support for our fighting forces (as a faceless group) then smear the individuals (the actual people) who put on the uniform day in and day out make my heart heavy and yearn for the good men and women I lost under my command defending your freedom to spew such trash. But just as you have exercised your right to free speech, I too shall exercise mine- the right I have labored for in 150 + degree heat, earned with the blood of my dying brothers on my hands.
Part of me wonders if you don’t suffer from your own Narcissistic Diagnosis. If so, you’ll delete this comment and never let the world see my response. If so, you’ll remove the post entirely.
Let’s see what kind of character YOU have Dr. Henman. Post my comment- and rebut if you like. But most importantly, let your clients see where you drew your line in the sand. Mine is right here.
Ms. Jane Dylon
Current COO, Former LTC and BN CDR for the US Army
Ms. Dylon,
I thank you for your service and for taking the time to respond to the blog. As my comments began, no greater supporter of our military walks the planet. That’s why I have very high expectations for those who put on the uniform.
I don’t claim to be an expert in military strategy. You’re right, the current situation is very complicated, and I’d question any consultant who was bold enough to offer a simplistic explanation for what is going on or even what we should do now.
I am, however, an expert on behavior. If you have visited my website, you can see for yourself the work I’ve done for more than 30 years. I know bad judgment when I see it, and I saw it in this general.
I don’t malign his years of service. In fact, I note that he got it right for a long, long time. I pointed out the nature of this mistake and offered two explanations. We’ll probably never know what was in his heart.
In a previous blog I addressed never defending bad behavior, yours or anyone else’s. In this case, the general behaved badly. Period. There’s no defending what he did.
So, I’ll leave the post as a reminder to those, civilian and military, who might be tempted to think the rules don’t apply to them. But I’ll post your response as well.
You and I both had visceral responses, perhaps because we’re both passionate in our patriotism.